Porn & Spouse
Porn & Spouse.
How does porn affect the female partner ? what can be done to exit from this ?
Anything can be used as an “exit” from the relationship, (an exit is anything that you use to avoid dealing with intimacy – these things are of course fine if they are not being used as avoidance). So anything can be used to exit – not just porn – drinking, eating, shopping, talking on the phone, golf, tv, reading, working, over-focusing on the kids, working out, email, facebook, – but for women, golf and ESPN doesnt involve their partner looking at other naked women (or men).
The threat of porn for most women is that their man is masturbating to images of other people. Its the masturbating and the fantasy life that is the threat. Its the fantasy life that does not include them that feels like infidelity. (This is a conversation in and of itself….) And if the porn use becomes compulsive, then the “exit” is for sure avoiding being in the relationship, as much as compulsive shopping, eating, talking on the phone, or playing golf all day sunday – every sunday – every week – can be.
Most women are not threatened in the same way by ESPN – they might be worried, annoyed, angry, as they would at any exit, as would any man who feels his female or male partner exiting from the relationship. However, when it involves the manifestation of an internal fantasy life that doesnt involve the primary partner, it adds a different level of disengagement.
But if porn is mutually enjoyed and used as Fantasy within a intimate relationship as variety the thought is gratifying.
