Archive for November, 2009

History of Sexology.

November 24th, 2009 1 comment

History of Sexology

Sexology, as a science, incorporates into its research and treatment of sexual concerns and dysfunctions the findings of psychology, sociology, philosophy, biology, zoology, anthropology, history, physiology, religion and medicine.

Clinical sexology is not the same as “sex therapy”, which bases its approach on the psychological model of talk therapy.

Clinical sexology has its roots in mid-19th Century England and Germany. Havelock Ellis (1859-1939), an English medical doctor, surgeon and sexologist, was one of the first researchers to challenge the sexual repression of the Victorian Age (generally considered to span the time of Queen Victoria’s reign, 1819-1901) along with its taboo against masturbation (now considered by sex health experts to be a normal sexual behaviour, essential for healthy sexual development).

In 1919, Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, a German physician and clinical sexologist, founded the first Institute for Sexology in Berlin (Zentrum fur Sexualwissenschaft). The Institute accumulated a vast body of research on human sexual development as well as the treatment of sexual concerns and dysfunctions. It was the first such Institute to offer a clinic for the specific purpose of treating sexual problems.

On May 6, 1933, under orders from the Nazi High Command, Brownshirts broke into the Institute and carried away its vast collection of books, research material and clinical files to be destroyed at the infamous May 10, 1933 book burning on Berlin’s Opera Square. The Institute was immediately closed. In passing, it must be stated that the later institutes, clinics and research of the great 20th century sexologists, Alfred Kinsey, Wardell Pomeroy, and Masters and Johnson had their forerunner in Hirschfeld’s Institute.

After World War II, there was a renaissance of sexology in both America and Europe. In 1948, Alfred Kinsey and his associates founded the Kinsey Institute for sexual research at the University of Indiana. In 1967 and in 1970, medical researchers and sexologists William Masters and Virginia Johnson published their vast, groundbreaking research in two separate volumes entitled Human Sexual Response and Human Sexual Inadequacy. They also founded a teaching Institute and treatment clinic. In 1983, Humbolt-Univeritat zu Berlin opened the Magnus Hirschfeld Archive for Sexology to the public.

The science of sexology is now a well established and widely taught discipline in many of the world’s leading universities

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Sexual Confidence

November 24th, 2009 No comments

What is Sexual Confidence ?

Sexual Confidence is:

Knowing that you are a good sexual partner.

Thinking that you are sexy (regardless of your age or weight)

Being willing to flirt, or touch first.

Freedom from inhibition – you can be yourself in bed.

You are in touch with your desires – you know what you like.

Being able to say “I want you” and knowing he wants you too.

Daring to try something new – a position, sex in the kitchen, being blindfolded etc.

Understanding that a good sexual rapport can take time to develop.

Being unafraid to say no to anything that you don’t want.

Keep a healthy distance between Desires and Relationships.

Not taking your partner’s lack of desire or orgasm as your failure.

Staying calm if your partner loses his erection. (you know it happens sometimes)

Being open to hearing feedback about your technique in order to better please him.

“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”


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Romance and Conception

November 24th, 2009 No comments

Romance should be a way of life, not a moment. When a couple embraces a romantic philosophy on the many levels of their marriage, life tastes sweeter. When each notices the small things, romance exists. When each considers the other first, romance exists. When each listens and each shares, romance exists. When romance is part of your marriage like breathing, the years together through the tough and tame times are so much better.”

This is good advice whether you’ve been married two years or 22, but I feel that it’s better to start early in the marriage and make it a habit. “I would offer a word of advice for newly married couples,” “Incorporate romantic principles when your marriage begins. Know that the romance in a marriage changes as each year passes. Yet, if nurtured by both parties, the romance, the relationship, will deepen and become as a precious jewel.”

The principles for keeping the magic or spark in a relationship are a combination of the physical and emotional or spiritual. Although this may sound like an old-fashioned idea, the physical perspective is to maintain a neat appearance. Often, women and men let themselves “go” the more comfortable they get in a relationship. It’s difficult to feel particularly romantic toward someone with messy hair and untidy nightgowns. This makes the partner really uncomfortable.

However, it’s a fact that romance includes a mental and spiritual connection with your mate. This doesn’t necessarily mean religious, but a shared interest in each other’s work, solving problems together and delving into spiritual or emotional issues. Building this type of emotional intimacy solders the marital connection.

For couples who are in the earlier stages of a marriage and are planning to have children, or perhaps are even trying to conceive, it’s important not to get too caught up in the “busyness or business” of sex, but rather to enjoy the moment. Many young couples, whether because they want a strictly planned pregnancy or because they’re having fertility problems, become very serious about sex once they decide to conceive.

After marriage some couples become neurotic if they do not conceive as per the advice of their gynaec to have sex during the fertility periods and thus their sex life is definitely taken for a hit.

The verbatim of some one in a therapy is like this: “Sex has become stressful because we can only really make love at certain times, and sometimes my husband doesn’t even want to do that,” she says. “We try to keep it as spontaneous as possible, but there are only certain things you can do. At this point, we’re just making the best we can out of it.”

I feel it’s important to try not to obsess about the conception aspect of sex when you are trying to conceive. Rather, you look at conception as a fun, new adventure. “When you make love with someone you care about with the purpose of reproducing, it puts a whole new intensity on the act,”. “If you begin to look at sex as a means to an end [and] conception doesn’t happen right away, couples tend to become frustrated and disappointed and then focus even more on conception rather than just having great sex.”

It has also been observed that good sex can actually assist in conception. “If a woman is more aroused and, as a result, producing more lubrication, the sperm has a better chance of survival,” “Also, if she reaches orgasm, the contractions actually help the semen get sucked up and give the sperm a running start.”

Enjoy it! Embrace it! Experience the freedom of not worrying about birth control. It may be one of the few times that you can.

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November 24th, 2009 No comments

In the case of pornography, the preponderance of the evidence clearly demonstrates that the material is not .just harmless fun.. Although almost all men are attracted by it, there are clearly perils associated with its use . which no doubt explains why so many men are willing to resist their own hormones and try to keep away from pornography.

Pornography is not about real human sexuality: it.s about a dehumanized, synthetic version of sex that eliminates love, honor, dignity, true intimacy and commitment. The image of sexuality offered by pornography comes without relationships, responsibility or consequences. a largely fraudulent picture. Porn movies never show a girlfriend getting pregnant at 16, or a young man getting AIDS . or a married man resisting the temptation of another woman.

Unfortunately, the research demonstrates that pornography.s fraudulent messages are ingested, affecting attitudes and behavior. Countless studies show that the basic messages of pornography . that a woman.s function is to satisfy a man sexually, that women have no value,no meaning, and their desires and needs are irrelevant . breed sexual callousness and acceptance of the rape myth (i.e. that women secretly desire to be raped).

These are the attitudes that lead to sexual harassment, failed relationships, early promiscuity and the spread of STDs. And, unless one believes that attitudes and behaviors are unrelated, it is difficult then to be surprised by the evidence of correlation between pornography usage and sexually abusive behaviors.

We protect ourselves and our communities, in part, through the values we affirm as

important. Treating every human being with respect, equality, and dignity, are values we should all be able to embrace, as a society and as individuals. The harms of pornography result from replacing respect, equality and dignity with a candy-coated message of hate

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What is Polyamory ?

November 24th, 2009 No comments

In simple terms, this translates to “many loves” but what is it really? The term  polyamory has only come into regular language use over the past 4-5 years or so. The act of polyamory has been in existence for millennia, and means a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

It may be easier to start to define what polyamory is by discussing what it is not. Polyamory is not monogamy. Thus Monogamy is actually having one partner for your entire life. Most people in Western cultures practice what is called Serial Monogamy where you have one partner at a time. Polyamory is also not cheating or promiscuity. Cheating and promiscuity denote being dishonest with one’s partners, essentially sleeping around with regard to your partners’ feelings. Polyamory does not fit that mold. In poly relationships, everyone knows about everyone else’s relationships, and they are discussed as openly and honestly as possible.

There are a lot of relationship styles that could fall under the umbrella of polyamory. There is polyandry or polygamy, which is having multiple spouses. Although this is not legal in the United States, this is practiced with some frequency in other areas of the world.

Some people who have open relationships or open marriages consider themselves polyamorous. This style usually consists of a primary relationship, a couple, who live together and share expenses, etc. while seeing other people.

Another type of polyamory group is an expanded family where several couples or multiple spouse groups, including romantic and non-romantic partners, live together with their children, sharing one large household.

There is argument regarding whether or not swinging is polyamory. Often, swinging is defined as having extra-marital or extra-primary relationship sexual partners, but those sexual partners are not love partners. Often, they do not share a deeper, more intimate, long-term connection with one or both members of the originating primary relationship. In polyamory, however, the goal is for the “extra” partner(s) to become a long-term, intimate part of the originating relationship.

All of this said, a working definition of polyamory is the desire, practice, or acceptance if having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It is extremely important that honesty and consent be the earmarks of polyamory, and really any relationship. Open, honest communication is absolutely necessary, and all individuals in the relationship must consent to what is going on at all times.

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Sexual Expressions

November 24th, 2009 No comments

Sexual Expression

Factors Enriching Sexual Expression

Touch, taste, sight, hearing and smell play a crucial part in sexual arousal. Good sex requires a calm emotional, and abandonment to the erotic experience.

Intense intimacy and eroticism take practice. That’s why adults are always capable of greater intimacy than adolescents!

Factors Inhibiting Sexual Expression

Anxiety, Anger, Alcohol, Affairs, Drugs, Depression, Deliberate Control, Dissociation of Sexual Feelings Distractions

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Free Diabetes Check up event of Joy of Giving Week

November 24th, 2009 No comments

A Free Diagnostic and Therapeutic Diabetes Check up Camp has been arranged at our Clinic for the benefit of all in lieu and support of Celebrating the Joy of Giving Week.

By 2015 Every 5th Mumbaikar shall be a Diabetic, and India is going to be the Diabetes Capital of the world, We thought that it  shall be wise to increase the awareness of this metabolic syndrome and offer our expertise to the masses.

This is the little at least we can give back to the society for the immense gifts of life society has given us.

All those who register shall be checked up for Diabetes and  Hypertension and Free treatment shall be given.

The tests which shall be performed free of cost are CBC, Blood Sugar Fasting and PP, Hb A1C, Lipid Profile, S Creatinine, Urine Routine,ECG and BP shall be measured. A proper follow up shall be advocated. The timings shall be 9am to 12 am noon on the decided dates. Also awareness on Insulin, Hypoglycaemia, foot problems shall be made through audio video sessions.

All known diabetics are requested to bring their old reports and medicines along with them.

If anyone has any queries can feel free to call up Dr Deepak K Jumani personally on his cell 09821044556 anytime 24 by 7.

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Sex as a Sicence

November 24th, 2009 No comments

Sex is a Science:

My head falls down in shame when we hear that the govt has put on hold the decision to start sex Education in schools…

Lets approach it this way… Let us think Sex as a Science…

By virtue of being born out of sex, it does not follow that we know all there is to know about sex. We are not born experts on love and sex. We have to be educated. We have to understand what’s the attractions in sex, why there is such a push within us towards it. We have to learn how to use our energy to go through sex in a natural way and then go beyond it to a natural state of celibacy.

With a depth of insight and foresight, I understand today the caliber of humans in sinking lower and lower. Some people blame it on the deterioration of moral standards, while others attribute it to kaliyug, etc but this is all non sense…

There is only one thing different, the quality of sex has fallen, sex has lost its sacredness, sex has lost its scientific understanding, its simplicity and naturalness.

Sex has degenerated into a forced thing, a nightmare. Sex has taken almost a violent status, very rarely its a loving act.. Unless we bring a deeper understanding and a harmony to the act of sex—which is possible only through education, humanity cannot come into being…. Until the naturalness of sex becomes accepted wholeheartedly nobody can love anybody. I want to say to you that sex is godly, The energy of sex is divine energy, godly energy. That is why this energy creates life. It is the greatest most mysterious force of all.. I appeal to all the authorities to drop this antagonism towards sex. If you ever want love to shower in your life, renounce this conflict with sex, Accept sex blissfully, acknowledge its sacredness…

There is an enormous rise in incidences of sex abuse, child abuse, rapes, transgender, gays & lesbians I don’t blame those who do this crime.. but feel the plight of the victims..

This is all because of our age old belief system, that sex is a sin, sex is bad, sex should not be talked about, sex is illegal, .. etc etc.

Also sex should be abstained before marriage.. its like asking adolescent guy that he/she shouldn’t drive a car before marriage, even if has a valid license and can drive very well.

Why should you blame the mirror for what it reflects ?

What is the fault of the snake if we are scared of it. What is the fault of heights if we are scared of it. Our biggest culprit today is our belief system.. which is several thousand years old.. Our humanity is a byproduct of this culture.. and yet the human is blamed for being wrong, and not the culture. I do not say our culture is not great, infact its one of the richest, but as other things have evolved over several thousand years love, attitudes and relationships haven’t evolved as they should… But if something hasn’t evolved over the past ten thousand years how can one expect that to change now.. And today’s human being is a proof for this…Its amazing to see more love and healthy relationships amongst birds, insects and trees who do not have any religion or culture..

Love is within every human being, hidden inside, it has not to be searched from somewhere, it is there. It is the very need and longing of life within every soul on this earth, it is the very decor of life within every one.. Its like a sculptor who works with a rock and with a chisel and hammer makes a wonderful statue.. Actually speaking the statue is actually hidden inside, somehow the useless mass over it was brilliantly separated.. So the question is not how to produce love and harmony in all but how to uncover it in all ?

This is only possible with proper sex education…..

Lastly let me tall you that sex is a religious experience, a spiritual experience.. Let us use it and not abuse it, not detest it, not give a degrading grin, not give an insulting attitude to it, not suppress or repress it… Let us not kill sex education by poisoning it because all said and done even if authorities do not implement sex education sex did not die in the past and sex will not future. it will become poisoned.. it shall live on, but poisoned, and we shall say Sexuality is the poisoned sex….

As a Sex therapist, and a Sexologist with a diplomate from American board and American College of Sexology I am aware The things which are taught in our medical schools are restricted to study of reproductive organs, the diseases related to the organs and Sexually transmitted diseases.. nothing beyond that While working as a clinical associate at KEM Hospital in the sexual medicine department I wasn’t alarmed at a newly married neurosurgeon who came with his wife who also works in a MNC to ask me how to perform sex in a right way? And there are many more such situations we see which makes me feel its imperative to make Sexual Science education to all children who are the future of our nation, who shall rope in seeds of love and harmony in future generations to come.

A beautiful curriculum on the guidelines of American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and American College of Sexology for all the types of students, school college, women, literate, illiterate and from over several years of experience in practicing Sex Therapy,can be formulated and I am willing to impart as much education in this fascinating and only branch of science which is life in itself…

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November 24th, 2009 No comments

Sexuality refers to a core dimension of being human, which includes the individual and social capabilities and conditions for eroticism, emotional attachment/love, sex, gender and reproduction. It is anchored in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs and values, and is expressed through identity, attitudes, values, roles, behaviours and relationships. Sexuality is a result of the interplay of biological, psychological, socio/economic, cultural, ethical and religious/spiritual factors.”

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What Causes Low Sex Drive (LIBIDO)

November 24th, 2009 No comments


*Unrealistic expectations about sex, relationships & romance

*Difficulty relaxing

*Stress due to overloaded schedules and lack of time

*Relationship conflicts

*General or emotional disconnection from your partner

*Anxiety or Depression

*Unfulfilling sexual practices or sexual problems

*Sexual shame from being raised to believe sex is “dirty”, “Sin”, Unreligious”.

*History of sexual abuse as a child or teen, or date rape

*Demands of childbearing and rearing leading to exhaustion

*Sexual boredom or issues with your partner’s technique or approach

*Lack of attraction to your partner.

*Physical illness, hormonal issues and some medications

Most of the issues are ego centric So my best advice is that It is better to loose your Ego in love than to loose your Love in ego.

Many women have low libidos (and trouble reaching orgasm) because they feel too vulnerable to really let go. Being intimate sexually; being yourself in bed; asking for what you want from your partner; being open to what your partner wants from you sexually; literally opening your body and allowing your partner inside your own body; allowing yourself to be playful in bed; letting yourself cry out with pleasure — all of these are vulnerable acts that require trust. And I mean both trust in your partner, and in YOURSELF. If you feel safe, loved, and are free from sexual shame (more on this in a later blog), it can be a joyful kind of letting go. If you don’t feel safe, it can be a whole different ballgame.

There are many possible reasons for a lack of safety. Possibly you were cheated on in this relationship, or a former relationship (or several), and can’t bear the thought of being hurt that way again, so you hold back by not letting herself get that close. Maybe there is a lot of conflict in your relationship that is never resolved, so there is lingering resentment. Nothing will shut your libido and orgasmic potential down faster than buried resentment of your partner. Certainly if there is any verbal or physical abuse in the relationship, it is not a safe and healthy relationship. Or if you were sexually abused as a child, or endured any other kind of sexual trauma as an adolescent or adult, you may have difficulty letting your partner get that intimate. It may evoke highly negative memories or flashbacks, or it may just leave you with a tremendous sense of unease about sex. The kind of unease that makes you want to avoid sex.

If you are like a lot of women, the idea of orgasm can be scary, since you haven’t ever had one before and don’t know what it will be like. You could fear that you will have a ghastly look on your face, or that you will make ugly or animalistic sounds if you have an orgasm. Finally, you may experience the idea of making love, or having an orgasm as scary because it feels “out of control”. It does require some letting go of control to be freely enjoying your sex life. Some women can revel in this, as a very different part of their usual day to day life where they have to be in control and be responsible for so many things. But for many, it has a dark side to it that they can’t necessarily even articulate.

All of these concerns can be dealt with effectively in therapy or coaching sessions. Learning what may be unresolved issues in this relationship or past relationships and cleaning them up can free you from a low libido. Deciphering what exactly is vulnerable or scary to you can mean that we can devise a way to empower you to face it – though just talking about it openly will decrease the fear for some. There may be things your partner can do to ease the anxiety and make you feel safe. If you are in a truly abusive relationship, it will be impossible to feel safe unless your partner is committed to doing the necessary work to end his abuse of you. Fortunately for most of the couples I see, abuse is not the issue that puts a wet blanket on their love life. And though it is never easy to start to address sexual issues, the rewards are so great for a relationship that it is more than worth the awkwardness of the first meeting.

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